I plonk on the sofa, my cheese sandwich in hand, and a sudoku puzzle to work on. Life's good, I muse. Cheese sandwich, sudoku and cold coffee work wonders on my blue moods. I throw a glance at the overcast evening and realise that I did not spot the rainbow this year - my most loved part of the monsoon. Couple evenings ago, as I gazed at my lily turf, I wondered when will I see those pretty pink blossoms, and as if granting my wish the very next day, I saw not one, but two flowers, wishing me a very good morning! Maybe my wish for the rainbow will get fulfilled, after all.
Life gives you surprises, for sure. Life also gives you sad moments - moments that spring upon you when you are lost in the mundane stuff. A few days ago, my SIL spotted an injured fledgling lying in the corner of our lobby. She called me to inform me about the poor baby and begged me to bring it home. I was reluctant. It had fallen out of its nest and was hurt. Whether I brought it home or left it there to its fate, it would die. SIL kept up with her pleadings and so, out of pity for both - my SIL and the baby sparrow - I asked the watchman to bring the birdie upstairs.
The poor baby was in a bad state, would be an understatement. Petrified of its surroundings and separated from its parents, it was in a pitiful state. Panting with fear, it cowered in a corner of the basket in which I placed it. I tried feeding it some drops of water with the help of a cotton ball, but, of course it refused to have it. It had no idea I was trying to help, It would stop breathing each time I tenderly ran a finger over its head, in a vain attempt to soothe the panic-stricken soul. I knew I was making things worst, but I couldn't think of anything else. I hadn't felt this helpless in years!
After a while, I decided to read up on what one must do if one spots a fledgling fallen from its nest. And, the first thing the expert informed was NEVER should one pick it up and bring it home. Its parents keep hovering around it, trying to find ways to help their baby back to the nest. I just broke down and sobbed as I realised my folly. Begging for forgiveness, I took the basket downstairs and placed the baby sparrow from where it was found and returned home, all the while sending fervent prayers heavenwards for its safety and wellbeing. Although, all the while, the knowledge that my prayers would go unanswered, gnawed at me within.
My entire day passed by in a daze as the heart-rending image of the injured fledgling kept flashing before my eyes, its pitiful cries calling its mother echoing in my ears. I begged God to look out for it and do something to help the poor thing, for, it's possible only to Him to hear His children's cries. Alas, as I had known all along, our prayers went unanswered - mine and the baby's. Late in the evening, as I went downstairs to have a look at it, I found that it had passed away. It was natural - the birdie meeting its end; its situation was rather bleak. I consoled myself that whatever happened was in the best interests of the bird - it wouldn't have to deal with the harsh realities of life.
Its been a few days now since that incident, but those moments still haunt me, break my heart. I love sparrows, and to watch a baby sparrow meeting its end because of a silly mistake on my part, is unacceptable, unpardonable - to me! I hope I am forgiven. Had I left it there in the first place, its parents would have helped it somehow and gotten it back to its nest. Sadly, destiny had other plans for us!
Life is full of such instances - heartbreaking moments that fill us with sadness and happy ones that fill us with hope. It's the happy ones that we remember, mostly. Or, is it the sad ones that haunt us night and day? This incident will stay on in a corner of my mind for years to come. But, the next time I spot an injured fledgling fallen from its nest, I will just leave it alone and pray for its safe return to its home, to its parents.
And, I will also keep looking for my rainbow - for me, it's a promise that there's magic in life! Life is not only dark and gloomy clouds, but also the ray of sunlight that gives those clouds a silver lining, and us, a ray of hope. Life is not all grey and bleak, but also that vibrant rainbow that wipes away our tears and fills our heart with joy!
Rest in peace, my dear fledgling. May you find peace among those soft and fluffy clouds. And, may you help me spot my rainbow. For me, it will be a sign that all's fine with you and that you are happy where you are!