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The journey of a writer.

                 It's a beautiful evening. My mood is buoyant and the writer in me is bubbling with ideas. I open my laptop eager to pour out the thoughts that have been crowding my mind. I rub my palms in excitement as the laptop comes to life. It has been quite some time since this mind has come up with any brilliant ideas, so I decide to make hay while the sun shines! My fingers go clickety-click on the keyboard as my thoughts tumble over each other, vying for attention. I can sense a tussle going on between my thoughts and my mind; the former fighting to prove their significance to the post, and the latter rejecting them with a royal flourish.  I could actually call it a war that threatens to end in bloodshed (me going insane)!
              I choose and pick the thoughts that seem logical, discard those that seem superfluous and proceed towards the completion of the post. Well, Madame Time won't sit twiddling her thumbs, waiting for the war to end! Moreover, there are errands to run, chores to complete; I can't be sitting at the table fiddling with my laptop all day, can I?
             So, after having collated the thoughts that will make their way into the post, I type like a woman possessed. For almost a half hour, my fingers work tirelessly to give me the post I have pictured in my mind. Finally, I look up with pride as I have a 500 word post ready! I give myself a high 5 for having accomplished a seemingly gruelling task in less than an hour.  As my heart dances at this achievement, my mind  taps  it softly on its shoulder, bringing it to its senses.
          Just writing a post is not the end of the race. It requires thorough proofreading, editing and polishing till it sparkles like a diamond. Ah, yes, the mundane chores can wait, but my post can not! So, I roll up my sleeves and get down to  the nitty-gritty of proofreading. Even as I work on my syntax, and my grammar, my heart decides to go on its own trip to  Fantasy Land.
  "After I polish this post to a shine, I will submit it here, and there, and oh, everywhere! It looks impressive! People will definitely like it, nay, love it!" 
            Bouncing in glee like a little girl, I work on my post. I snip off words that seem redundant, change sentences to make them  smarter, polish the rough edges and after another half hour, sit back to admire my creation. Ah! Now, that is what you call a 'masterpiece'! Yes! My ego beams with pride. It definitely will get appreciated and, yes, published, too. It will, it will, it will! I click on the save button and then on the publish button. There, now it's on my blog! I then proceed  to submit it to all the publications I can think of and sit back contentedly, anticipating congratulatory letters from them all.
         An hour passes by, my mind finds it tough to concentrate on the chores at hand.  I wonder if my  blogger- friends have read it yet; I wonder what comments they have left behind! I check before retiring for the day. Mm, yes, a couple of comments..only? My heart skips a beat. I pray for more traffic on my blog and go to sleep.
       The next day, I check in every hour, but alas, I find but a few comments. That's all! My heart almost breaks into a sob. I console it and cheer it up by reminding it about the several publications that are bound to admire my work. But, as luck would have it, none of them do! Heart broken, I put my laptop away. My mind is crestfallen and it  needs some time alone. So, there won't be any writing for some time  now. I take a long leave of absence from social media after my ego, too, succumbs to the dejection.
        Finally, after  a week or so, I switch on the laptop, and casually glance at  the news feed on Facebook. And, what do I find there? An article shared by a dear blogger friend.
  The title of the article -  Why you should aim for a 100 rejections a year.
        
     
            

Comments

  1. How well you've captured that feeling we all go through! Really like the finesse with which you've worked on this piece. Shall I tell you a secret? The way I manage my notifications? I don't check them :) I check only twice or thrice a day and at the laptop. It's also why I am tardy these days in replying to comments. I have freed myself from the burden of notifications. At least for now ;) Good luck and keep trying. The rejection wave will stop. And when it does, the feeling of success will be so heady and rewarding.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, Shailaja. I, too have stopped checking the notifications every now and then. I switch on the laptop once or twice a day to check the comments and reply. Rejection, I have realised, is so good for me and my ego, but more so for my writing. If I don't get rejected, how will I know where I need to improve? And, since I read that post you shared yesterday, I have been feeling stress free. I am only and only going to write for the happiness it gives me. Encouraging words from you all are more than enough. These will help me sail through the low periods and my good sense will help me work towards perfecting myself! :))

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  2. Hey Shilpa don't lose heart and I say, let's write for the self and the posts will find the right audience. We are in the same situation, writing and slashing words, curating content only to find less views and comments. It doesn't matter as long as we write for the mind's and heart's satisfaction:)

    www.vishalbheeroo.wordpress.com

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    Replies
    1. True, Vishal! It is slowly and steadily dawning upon me that I ought to care more about expressing myself, working hard upon myself and my craft. The right audience will find my work and me, when the time comes.

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  3. Writing is a long-term process, born mostly out of a desire to express oneself. Validation, if any, is a bonus-- that's what I've found in my own journey. All the best with yours, Shilpa!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you,Damayanti, for the visit.
      You are right. Writing to express oneself without the expectations of any rewards is the best writing, ever!

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  4. This is what happens every time I write something. It is almost an emotional upheaval. And honestly, i have realised that the rejections have done more good than not.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, Jaibala. I, too, have realised now that rejections are good for our ego,but more so for our work. How much they help us work on ourselves!

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  5. You write beautifully.Keep penning down such gems and spread happiness in the blogosphere.Too many hastily written impersonal comments don't matter, a few genuine ones do :)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for the encouraging words, Sulekha! :) <3

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  6. Shilpa you really had me into your world..truly amazing tact and way of writing.Hope u are charged up with all the comments for this one to write ur next.��

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    Replies
    1. Oh yes, Medha! My blogger friends never fail to encourage me with their comments. I am raring to go!

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  7. Exactly how I feel after every post on my blog! :-) Yes, it's difficult to let go of the expectations because after all we write so that we engage with the readers, have some conversation going. With publications, it's of course the ultimate satisfaction of seeing your byline. And, when these don't come by, the disappointment is natural. However, one thing I've learnt is to just treat your blog as you'd treat your work submissions. Give it your best and forget about it because the rest really is not in our hands.
    Loved this post, Shilpa!

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